Testimonials

That party on your private yacht was amazing. Hit me up again sometime!

You were so clutch in that third seed round. Speaking of which, I want to run something by you...

Sometimes I wish I could be as arrogant as you.

Look, once you're done solving world hunger I was thinking we could go to Svalbard.

I can't keep up with all the super model girlfriends. Is this your fourteenth one?

Thanks for teaching me how to triple back-flip into the pool. Now everyone loves me.

I can't imagine life without you.

Please return my calls?

is it really that surprising you'll die alone?

Can you please delete this website already? It's depressing.

I genuinely don't know what you're trying to accomplish here.

Every time I read your posts, I feel worse.

You really think you're a wise guy, huh?

I wish I never met you.

Jesus dude -- for once in your life, do something.

Why am I surprised you're acting like this?

That's cool, I guess.

Do you even believe in anything?

You really are a bitter one, aren't you?