Hello. What would you like to know?
When I click on “about” pages, usually I seek any sort of markers – whether red or green. The best “about” pages set the stage, don’t they?
After much obstinate reflection it seemed worthwhile to leave an “About” for this site. The reason behind the resistance was how it doesn’t seem to be that much of an interesting task. But it is at least challenging, summarizing an artifact that doesn’t have a point.
One belief I hold is that whatever you believe yourself to be, or whatever you make, reveals itself inevitably. You cannot hide your story; it is not a matter of if, but when.
In this sense, though there’s no “About” page, one could already discern a bit just by the site’s existence and the nonsense within it.
Though it could present as a delusional rebellion, it’s a performance, and well-contained. As with all performances what was the intended objective?
I’m sure you’re most familiar with The State Of Things – even if you and I inhabit different worlds. All of us all inhabit different worlds. It’s funny how easily blindsided one can get – where experiences turn into wallpaper. Anyway, the State Of Things is a fragmented, virtual existence.
Do you know why entertainment IS entertainment? It seems like such a stupid question, but again, it’s easy to get blinded by the simple. This is why the child is often wiser than the adult – they get corrupted through schooling.
Entertainment comes from Life. It is living, signs of living, living progressions. What makes Entertainment perplexing is that, fundamentally, it is being something which it is not: an imitation of life. Entertainment is so good at this, and so integrated to the modern existence, that one cannot see the very ruse in front of them. Though you and I could protest we know it is an act, after enough immersion, it certainly won’t matter. It feels real. With enough time, it replaces life itself.
Entertainment is so essential and wired, that we find ourselves with a need to entertain. Ourselves, and others – we entertain one another all the time. What once was natural, clips of living – and thus imitated by Entertainment – now has been replaced by Entertainment’s newest and greatest, as Entertainment eclipsed and became more “Interesting” than its source. It has replaced so much of the benign and harmless – it has snatched the very quality of living from life itself. To where life became a series of doldrums, only relieved by the next homunculus of choice.
Of course, Entertainment is Technology’s child. At least by attending a play in medieval times, Life was still present – and there was a disdain toward the actors. With Technology’s nurturing, Entertainment continues to hollow out Life’s rightful domain: Interesting things. Entertainment continues to hollow out one’s self, with enough of it.
People often bemoan Technology for making the world lifeless. But on closer inspection, it is Entertainment which hollows everything, Technology as conduit.
So, the whole point of this website was dealing with this ever increasing hollowed structure we navigate today. The hollowness found in one another, or in ourselves – the robotic parasite injecting its amusing virus everywhere.
Since Everything has become Entertainment – from our interactions, to our mimicked mannerisms, speeches, products of masterminds owning first the movies, then the TV, then the web, literally shaping life while also vacating it – so I had hoped to find an escape before being hollowed myself.
What is one to do, when the imitators perfected the craft, made media “more real” than the real thing – sucking out the essence of our very existence?
All I know is that, when I interact with people, I entertain them. And when there are any “signs of life” online or offline, they are encroached upon and rendered as another form to entertain. This is why there is no contact, and there are no people to message anymore, and there is nothing about “myself” in a hard-line sense, because it’s all entertainment. The whole point of a performance, usually, is to entertain – but because there’s such an excess of it, there is no use for the original “actors” of our play. The Entertainment executives will make something more charming and loving than whatever we could scrounge in our Suburban wasteland.
So, I would make this website as some type of escape, and a way to deal with other issues besides this one. But, of course, there’s an irony: making a website is another form of Entertainment. There is no Virtue here.
The reason why I decided to make an “About” page is because I want to finish “this story” – this story of being hollowed out. What is one to do? Well, there’s only one thing to do: boycott all Entertainment and get back to its Source, life itself.
As I got older I couldn’t ever figure out why I can’t enjoy Movies, Video games, TV shows, Fictional Novels – I tried reading Notes From the Underground recently and stopped halfway – and it’s because innately one can’t escape how it’s an imitation and thus eventually hollow.
And as I got older I wonder why I couldn’t ever bother to hang out with people anymore, online or offline, or maintain contact and things – and it’s because one cannot escape how everyone Delivers Entertainment to you. You’ll know when you’re talking to an Instagram addict, a Twitter addict, News addict – all Entertainment. Exchanging latest shows… and yes, even a Neocities addict.
I made these sites as an affront. In hopes of getting away from the Entertainment Virus and Hivemind, even though, inevitably, I became but another node, with this hive labelled as “Website Entertainment”.
You are most free when you are alone, as you have no other eye imposing a role on you. But you know, having a role to play isn’t that bad. The trouble is, the roles we play nowadays are so far removed from its Source of living that it renders everything as lifeless. If the role I have to take is “one who talks about the latest YouTube clips, exchanges anime recommendations and new single drops and fills another body-suit in a rendition of a 5v5 video game” then I would rather return my ticket.
You may notice on the index drop down that it’s divided into five sections – that’s because deep down I was aware this was “Website Entertainment” and kept deleting sites and reappearing, as it was “the best available option” against all the others: that is, you at least aren’t demanded to play your role. You can fade away whenever you want, at least.
Though one may live a thousand lives as a voracious viewer, these lives are short and, after enough time, monotone or hollow.
One may live a thousand lives – but one misses out on the most fulfilling one: your own.
Loafe with me on the grass, loose the stop from your throat,
Not words, not music or rhyme I want, not custom or lecture, not even the best,
Only the lull I like, the hum of your valvèd voice.