Hello friends. Here’s a fun theory I’ve toyed with the few couple of weeks or more.
The general wording is “you become what you put your attention on” but the far more interesting wording would be “you become what you hate.”
So, for example, the reason why revolutions rarely work is because the revolutionaries become what they hate: another bureaucratic state, or dictatorship rife with famine, etc.
The more you play with the theory so the more you may be able to pick out, depending on the person or situation. Hate is just an amusing vehicle of becoming, just one of many.
A favourite of mine is someone who “hates drama”. I’m sure you’ve ran into this one before. Oh, they hate it and hate it and yet the more you interact with them the more surly they become regaling all the wrongdoings about. There’s a reason why hypocrites exist: they can’t help it! Under this theory, of course.
The most rude and annoying people are often those who believe everyone else is rude and annoying so they can’t stop thinking about how to “get back” at all the wrongdoings.
For those who cannot let go of anger so they truly become a divine comedy.
The righteous transfigure into the wicked, the weak turn to strong – such it is through mob rule, at least.
When was the last time you felt totally and comfortably alone?
I would imagine part of the appeal of “making a website” is how it is a pseudo-solitary endeavor. Though you may fan through some resources all the while, it is just you and your creation by the end. Even if it’s ironically hoisted up in a place which is anything but alone. Nevertheless, amplify this by how quiet and slow any sort of interactions are. Well, there’s not much to say anyway.
Anyway, I wish I had the confidence to venture out into a strange land where you’ll see the stars. Making plans-of-one because no one is going to make them for you. This is probably the appeal of relationships: being dragged along into things and having others schedule everything. How much easier it is to do nothing and let the years pass.
As strange as it may be, even when I was living alone – I never felt like my own person before. To this day I am not sure who is making my decisions, but they’re being made without my input even if my body is the one moving through them. If I had to point fingers, then it’d land on the Practicality goddess, or the Serendipitous bunch. It doesn’t make much sense to do a lot of things. How much more it makes sense to do nothing, because that’s where everything is resolved.
Still, it’d be nice to have a moped-independence – a camp grounds disposition. But you know, however long or short this life is, I know much of it will be alone. So may as well continue to let these days pass without input while one has the chance.
Nevertheless, the only way to assert your sovereignty is being alone. The only way to not be swallowed up is solitude only, astringent and upsetting however it may be: especially if others demand your time and expect you to always be there. Someday it won’t be true. Or it never was, if you think about it.
Yes, in today’s world, the biggest rebel is the one you never knew, who never existed virtually – an oxymoron most definitely.