It’s strange to come across some commentary about communities decomposing though maybe it’s a part of an online campaign somewhere.
Anyway, the central dilemma: you no longer belong now, right? Whether because you changed, or the fresh blood ruined how things ran, or the enthusiasm waned among vital members. It’s gone, and you got no place to go. Maybe you feel like all the time was wasted. Familiar feelings.
But I think no longer having a place to belong is the starting line. Now that there’s nowhere to go, nothing to contribute to, well, you can finally contribute to yourself and what you like. You can build the place you want to belong to: you got no choice anyway. No more following stupid social rules, pretending some grace, nothing of that—no enduring Correctness and Proper Code with Rule book behaviors. Maybe you like some of the Rules. Well, take what you like, and toss the rest. You’re the shotcaller now.
Not belonging anywhere or anyway or to anyone is fundamentally more interesting, more engaging, and more fulfilling, because you aren’t sitting on your hands waiting for the play to progress. There are no guild masters, moderators, or website owners. It’s you, call the shots and get the new stage rolling.
One may protest and say it’s all about the people. I don’t know, maybe you’re right. But if that was the case, why did it turn out this way? And why do those you know fade away? I think all the motives are twisted and the ambitions are confused: people can be a part of the equation, but shouldn’t we first define what math we’re doing? What’s the problem, and what does this community you hope to be a part of—how does the community solve it? If it’s just simple distraction, then that’s perfect: there are a million ways to do that by yourself. Something more functional? You can replicate it.
You’d be hard-pressed to find fun communities that last. The communities that last are the boring functional ones, not the fun and interesting ones. Those ones fizzle since fun is the trickster that glows you up into thinking there’s something spectacular outside of you, apart from you, beyond you—even though that’s rarely true.
Anyway, if you chew on it long enough, there’s just no point putting up with things and waiting for others to create the spaces and ideas or concepts you want to be. Sitting around, waiting for fun, feeling listless and bored, everything turns awful anyway… Most of the time you’re subsumed into some limiting, stagnating role (which you definitely feel even now) and half the time you aren’t getting out what you’re getting in.
When you realize you no longer belong, you can finally realize what you belong to.
re·al·ize
verb
become fully aware of (something) as a fact; understand clearly.
“he realized his victory at once”cause (something desired or anticipated) to happen.
“his daydreams have been realized”