blogger bloggin

Hello friends. It’s been awhile since I wrote aimlessly, and I got some things to ignore, so may as well write here. It’s not really anything, it’s just nothing honestly.

Sometimes I envy those who can be so open about their entire day. I think it’d be fun to monologue a day; I think it’d also be a bit of a pressure to make something more of it.

But it’s nice to keep the front door all swept. We don’t need anything more than that, I don’t think. I really don’t think.

Anyway, what can I share…

I migrated the infrastructure of this site to some flavor of the month generator. Maybe it’ll get deprecated in ten years. Would you hope to still be around here in ten years? Maybe neocities will shut down in ten years. Do you think there’s someone out there that says, “Gee, golly, ten more years!” instead of draping a sort of heaviness and creaky shoulders about the whole thing? I bet there is. We should line the whole world with them, or maybe not. I think I could only be golly about today. If you flip the calendar more than a month my eyes will glaze over. Won’t yours?

Other things I can share…

I’ve been listening to more 2000s stuff. I read a real sad journal on here and it reminded me of another tune I won’t share because why would I want to make you sad? Maybe the tune I just linked is sad enough for you. Can’t you smell the dusk little caesers, untied shoes and a gallon sprite bottle, highway chugging and red lights bitter air in?

It must’ve been so cool to make a band. I wish I took the Band route in highschool — maybe it would’ve led to a band. These sort of things start in highschool it seems. But hey, there are some that start much later. It’s just not so likely a band, more like some breakcore. Could sample some 80s mecha and make a starter mixtape, but I wouldn’t mind the whipped hair entering the main stage with baggy jeans and a bass. Maybe some drums. I wonder what instrument you’d choose.

It’s been a long while I talked to someone the same I could’ve to a college roommate, but the glass grew even then. When you get your first job there’s a distinct panel glass between. Everyone’s skin is so glossy under the office fluorescent, some moisturizer probably and hiding the pimple popping from too much little caesars.

You can kick some rocks walking to and from the office, and the 8 a.m. sunrise may as well have been twilight with all the cars moving indifferently beside you. I loved how everything muted looked. How foolish one could feel being anything when you’re replacing a suitcase with a backpack.

Do you find yourself up to some Good Business? It seems the best vein of meaning is found in one’s work after all. Talk to any NEET and ask what they’re feeling, unless their laurels come deluxe with their figurines dwarfing any aspirations from an onlooker. Even then, even then.

The best is the office job you just can’t care about, but you get that commute and the side smirk about it, like a hushed protest about it. Oh, I guess I’ll go to this job. I guess it’s fine. And then you get to skip on back, back when you could watch TV without guilt any. Donuts loaded, beer bottle too, little caesars spread across the coffee table.

One thought fun to entertain is that everything happens at once. In some strange other dimensional viewing, everything happens in a blink. When you entertain it, so sometimes it’s no longer nostalgia, or Déjà vécu — it’s because we’re all aligned in this singular infinite moment. And so when you’re listening you could listen along, sitting on a friend’s bed shoved into a crooked apartment with thin halls, sharing a silence and thinking why not? Why not, looking out from the dim street with a mild haze, and hedges with the picturesque leaf hanging off of it. Why can’t I sit beside them today? There’s nothing preventing you from jumping here to there, if you entertain it long enough.

That’s probably one of the best things to share with someone: a midnight viewing of the roads. Hopefully fitted with some amber lighted hue, and shadows for miles with the whizz on occasion tracing back to home and passing out. Assured that maybe it could last forever.

Some soundtracks surely feel like chloroform. Drifting away and finding some retribution. Some daydreaming. Though many may be quick to denounce the daydreamer, our world is built through the daydreamers… It is the daydream that paints the world, and the baseline is just a dream you’re used to.

Walking around at night there were a few windows with a green tint, as the same of some thin glass beer bottle fitted around the lightbulb. As I kept walking I imagined all of the lights around in that same green tint. You could almost hear the conversation about it — that they’d decide this room alone would be the green tint room. Because green light is criminally ignored, especially with such a mint glow. Usually the multi-LED aficionados settle for variants of hot pinks to purple and blues. It is in the green tint that one finds some magic. Some flowing back to 1930s.

Daydreamed a lot this week, is another thing one could share. I daydreamed at least ten things, some about self-hosting, others about challenges, perhaps hosting a library, hosting a different web hosting site out of amusement. Dreamt about a 3D website too, dreamt about making some 3D blender things, starting a new skill possibly, a third forum. Wrote through a few short stories, maybe to never finish. I even made a little submission box for testimonials on the main page, but retracted it, because I realized I probably couldn’t want to handle it. It was all a high, but inevitably I concluded: perhaps it’s not all worth it.

I guess that’s why daydreamers get the worst rep — after enough imagining you begin to realize the shared dream we’re waddling in is a comfortable conclusion, sometimes.