Hello again. Do you fancy this to be a pit stop? It’d be nice to own a gas station and have random conversations maybe. Though that comes with a bunch of liabilities.
They say that if you can’t write it out, you haven’t thought it through. That only through writing about things could you form a justifiable opinion. So, why not write out why I’m so suffocated about it all?
Still, sometimes it’s important to state things as it is. There’s no need to justify any action: just do it.
Most explanations are post-facto anyway. You already make up your mind and then fumble through half-baked thoughts as consolation. Whatever comes next is effectively a guessing game into the opaqueness of arbitrary decision making and emotional knots.
In those previous occasions so the main reason came displayed: return on investment. What does one get out of this? Well, that depends on the person and how they go about it, doesn’t it? Though in those previous occasions it was hard to conclude it was a return on anything at all, other than writing.
When you create a pseudonym, there’s a certain threshold you cross and understand, “yeah, I’d never connect this with my real self.” Though, honest to God, it feels like that threshold is crossed upon opening day. Even though that’s a sour way to live.
Earlier today walking through a nearby apartment block I saw two people struggling with luggage for their apartment. The Jeep had Colorado plates – maybe they’re moving in. In that moment I could’ve called out to help, but of course I didn’t. A cardinal rule in the modern world is to mind your own business.
The funny thing is how there’s no mutual business to mind together anymore. You can create some arbitrary mutual business, like a Discord server or a knit of Twitter follows but nevertheless this business is trivial, bloodsucking, and in a few years time you’ll be left with memories at best, dread at worst, or perhaps peace if you’re a benign one.
Is creating a website any different? I don’t know.