The first word that came to me was “fallow” of all things. Accompanied by what is appropriate to its definition: an image of burnt land, ashened and waiting for the next planting. So the fire rose, and I felt its flicker wash away life right in front, a heat still glowing at dusk.
Promptly thereafter I did look up its definition, and am surprised to find more to the word. The first definition is true to the above image, but the second one tells another story:
- (of a period or time) characterized by inaction; unproductive.
And with this definition I will happily abide and find it appropriate to this entry. That my purported absence wasn’t an absence at all, but rather (of a period or time) characterized by inaction; unproductive.
Fear not! For we aren’t machines. No need to produce anything at all, nothing at all.
Though now I do wonder what had me crawling back to the places I’d rather forego. And how I wonder where the next fork in the road will reveal itself, for the trajectory here so far reveals little resistance: a trajectory toward the usual bits and maybe one stirring moment to say, “well maybe not,” only to slumber a bit more.
Maybe this calls for another analysis. To what do I owe this forum-stalking inclination? Boredom, or an unimaginative reflexive mind. To which I’ve no answer yet, but in due time.
Today is to celebrate along the other days and how far may we stretch what is rightfully ours: this time to spend, how we may, there’s nothing else to pressure.
I think I visit imageboards because it is a nice excuse to talk about things you’d have no other excuse to talk about. And yet this offer I rarely cash in, but instead extend upon what others brought to the table.
More concretely, though there’s an allure to “write anything,” it devolves, for I prefer to respond to what already has been written. Maybe it’s the comfort of choice, to know it’s an option but respectfully decline (in most cases at least).
There is a persistent topic I wouldn’t mind more discussion on to which I’ve no other place to engage, and that would be programming of some form with someone somehow somewhere in not-so-restricted forums and professional accounts or personal ones either.
It’s unfortunate ultimately, for I need to come up with something I wouldn’t mind leaving under this account. Who knows! I’ve a couple ideas but it seems appropriate to leave them under my “official” account but the misfortune there is that it’s all programming and no conversation about programming, but maybe that’s for the better.
It’s a double bind, that much is certain.
a situation in which a person is confronted with two irreconcilable demands or a choice between two undesirable courses of action.
It’s most apropos that the only software I make under this account is software for anonymous people, I suppose.