After writing up my previous entry on IMs, I wondered “how exactly did I give it up?”
It’s hard to leave. I guess that’s how they keep you up in the wraps. I don’t know, it’s definitely a sacrilege feeling to just drop the things you invested a lot of time in. That, despite knowing it’s a foggy film, there are still people on the other side of the screen you’re leaving.
But when you evaluate the ends available, see that it leads to nowhere, feel it deep that’s all that’s left, then you can leave.
Running away is easy as soon as you decide to leave.
The thing that tipped me over was just an abject feeling of loneliness. The loneliness came from using IM. I felt fine on my own. But conversations just made me feel alien. Accentuates the pain because you wonder, what is wrong with you?
I acknowledge that I am not well-adjusted for the modern attention demanded from these places, or the expectations set within each dream-world. I don’t get it.
But when I realized that all was left was loneliness, deleting everything was only the next step.
And earlier today, I realized that forums are just the same thing.
It clicked again: there’s nothing left.
On to brighter pastures :-)