Although I ceremoniously stated that it is within my interest to help you along, to get you up to speed, to spin the wheel of minds and get somewhere, it is unfortunately a lot more nuanced than that. And I’m struggling right now with it. Because I don’t know who my enemy or my friend is anymore. All I know is how to make you laugh or think if you were so inclined, but what use is that?
Within such conclusion I cannot shake the weird gurgle of apathy I am forcing through by talking to you. Are you my enemy or my friend? In either case, how do we benefit from this arrangement? There’s not much. Can you at least threaten me more so I will try harder?
I am just confused as to what to do with you. Keep your enemies close they say, but clearly we could be better enemies to one another… or I guess there’s a third position that has nudged us toward unsatisfactory conditions. If I was more optimistic we would bind together, make a movement, and then we overthrow the whole thing! But I’ve not much faith in that, probably because those we’re up against have been in this field for many, many centuries. I am but a baby when it comes to psychological dominance, configuration, etc. We must acknowledge that there’s a reason the third position got where they are.
Sometimes I do sense some sort of global consciousness, that we’re connected. We could share some descendants. If everything as below is above then I think we’re in the throes of planetary organ failure though. Maybe shedding off the fat instead? I’m probably a fat cell. What part are you? I’m definitely a cell in the shins. Imagine the power you’d feel by being in the brain stem. I think majority of the pack would be screaming at you to please stop hogging. We need more energy, why does it all go to the brain! they’ll chant. We won’t work anymore, and then the brain stem commands another breath and step. Even if we all migrated to the brain we’d just spawn new cells at the bottom. Or we could imagine that we’re all just floating brain pieces, the heralded brain. Yet two brains will transgress and then a messy aftermath of ethics will be waiting on aisle 5. Silly!
I want you to be a neighbor. I’d love that, really. We could actually figure out what to do next. Or could we? Do I want this? I don’t have much to offer… we aren’t striking deals. I’m absolutely useless to you, you to me, I may have given you something to chew on here, but now what? I’m not so confident, Brutus. Or Geppetto? I’ll never know!
I’m inclined to live in some culture of shin cells, or just a single cell. To live indefinitely, detach and observe! That makes the most sense to me. For there are no deals worth committing to at this time.
I’m toying with a thought: another version of this site. But you can be certain: no more existential lame-posting. No more deals to strike! I’m here to have some intrigue. That’s all. Or nothing at all! I just wrote out all of this to free the burden of my previous post: this idea that I’ll somehow rationally grow with you, somehow. Not anymore!
I’ve freed myself from the burden once more. I hope you understand why I’ve such doubts in writing anything. Not because I’m confident I’ll be of use, but because it would be a useless endeavor in either case. And for your ease we can both agree there’s little I can say here anyway. Why am I acting so high and mighty! I do spend a lot of time configuring my posts and words, dot the positives on them too. I guess I’ve been mistaking the classic error of time invested equates value. Not always!
Be free!