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An old friend

2024-12-11

An old friend left some signs, and I thought maybe I could say something, but it does feel the same as burning. The thought of sending off a message feels the same as touching the stove. It is too much, way too overwhelming, and maybe that’s because I’m a weakling, but nevertheless I was surprised by the feeling. It really did feel like fire. It’s easier to message no one after enough time passes

No one willingly burns themselves. You learn to retract your hands; so it is the same with any sort of personal condolences. So it is and you keep it professional.

Well, old friend, I hope you’re doing well. There’s no excuse for this silence, but this distance is all I know to maintain.

Today I went to a park – it’s been boarded up by the hurricane for a few months. Along the water, Floridian views. Sparse characters, dogwalkers, palm trees blocking the dug-in pathways along the coastal coldfront breeze. Super low tide. Powerlines spanning across our townish municipality over the water, even if I feel no connection nor pride about it.

Sometimes dolphins poke out if you’re lucky around. Around 4pm. It’s been a long time since I saw a manatee, but I figure that’s what I am in some ways and so I see them all the time in the mirror.

It’s been a long time since I took any pictures. I think it’s this fear of them hanging around your neck after. Where you got an archive of 4gigs sitting and wondering, well, when are you going to delete it?

Love from a distance, something to tagline. I mean, why else are you here? I don’t know, but maybe there’s something beyond love and acceptance.