Re: Sperging Out
The following is from an email exchange. I am sharing an excerpt with their permission, keeping them anonymous.
What inspires you to keep sperging out online? Half the time I can’t even understand what you’re writing about, or it sounds like whimsical, abstract daydreaming.
Whenever I deeply contemplate why I still sperg out the usual conclusion I find is to delete the website. There’s an inherent pointlessness to doing anything online that isn’t making money, though even making money has a pointlessness attached too.
So I guess it’s low-poly form of escapism.
The only other justification I could throw out is a vague idea of “mental warfare” where it’s best to express yourself to make sure you aren’t being “overwritten”. But it’s more likely a way to cope with overthinking. Or of whatever created maybe it stays and hopes to influence one’s personal trajectory, or at least feel better settled despite the frenzy and pressure cooker of modernity.
Still, I think the best thing anyone could do in the modern era is probably delete everything and take like two months off and start something fresh and ghost everyone and everything. There is very little benefit in engaging online in any way in my opinion.
There’s a malaise too, I think, to any other way of existing online; even email veers into this territory, but if you have the right expectations1 — just a more personalized escapism — then maybe see what happens. There’s also a lack of sovereignty to other modes of online existence: one can unintentionally walk into expectations/roles.
Footnotes
-
For the record, for anyone that emails me, it does not matter if you take months or years to reply. Or that you never do. I do not care if you focus on what you want to do, whether your website or life. And it is entirely fine to respond to none of reply, parts of it or starting anew. I hope you may afford me the same stipulations, depending (´･ω･`) ↩