Recently I came across some boiler room sets that I’ve been enjoying a lot. So much so that I wanted to share them.
But then I am reminded it’s unlikely others would want to listen to these sort of things. They can find it for themselves – and I mean, I’m sure you remember moments of others sharing stuff with you, bated breath, waiting for you to match their reaction. Gotta fake it sometimes!
You can acknowledge this farce and share anyway – as one does with a personal site, since it’s not an imposition, I’m not dragging you in here – but I think it misses the point of sharing still.
What drives sharing anything at all is positive feelings: whether spreading them or seeking them through such reconnaissance. But sharing seems to, more often than not, come out of a misguided understanding: just because you’re experiencing something doesn’t mean others will. It ends with you.
When one shares a video enjoyed, it’s a lapse in that misguided understanding. That if you enjoyed it, others surely will too – so the reactive line of thinking goes. But that’s just not the case most of the time.
Inconsiderate sharing is what happens when you forget that. The same way one clings onto any shot of validation and huffing for the next Mental Illness Label by “traumadumping” on others. If talking about it makes you feel better, then so the reactive thinking goes that, somehow, this is making others feel better maybe. Deep down. Or it’s just complete negligence and it’s hard to comprehend what it’s like to be the listener to your “story”. If you’re a real self-talker sometimes you can get deluded enough to think that whatever you’re sharing – however inane the event goes – that it actually is relevant to whoever is existing around you.
After fully digesting the fact no one cares you can get back to the essence of sharing. You don’t need to disable the drive to share, talk about nothings. The trick is to keep it divorced, and have it actually accomplish the task of rendering the other person better off. Making sure whatever you share does spread some sort of satisfaction.
In this case, sharing some youtube videos on a personal site wouldn’t be that bad. But I won’t be deluded: it’s not really sharing, it’s just indulgence.
As for the misguided sharing – when you’re really talking about nothing, like these posts – the key here is “misguided sharing”. You don’t have to stop talking and rocking back and forth. Just don’t deliberately share it unless you’re prepared for the consequences. There’s something amusing about subjugating others to inane thoughts when there’s a self-awareness about it.
Owning up to the uselessness makes it more satisfying when you do bother, I think. Because inevitably otherwise you’ll find yourself saying things which sink deep into an irrelevance driving a stake into you.
It makes things extremely boring, ultimately.
It’s a simple question really: would you rather others lie to you and act like they’re impressed or engaged, or would you rather figure out how to make it real?