Hello friends. I’ve grown sick of writing my half-baked aphorisms and abstract reasoning over vague circumstances. Sprinkling them between a day’s reflection or a niche topic seems tiresome too.
If the purpose of this website was to help you somehow then most of my previous stuff should probably still be up, maybe some of it had value. But it’s not.
If the purpose was to entertain you somehow, then you’d hope the topics would be less caustic. Yet it veers.
It’s clear the purpose is to not disclose my day-to-day existence anything beyond idle observation and vague movements. That’s just not in the cards.
So here we are. Anything personal is off the table, any dilettante tangents on things are off as well – not even emotions are available, seeing as I believe talking about your emotions too much just makes you more neurotic.
What does one write about then, forgoing all these options? Perhaps one could make an ode, title it “Let others shine” and enjoy this position as the forgotten observer. Maybe we could bow-tie it with a summary of how it all accumulated to this point, but that still dances too closely to personal. In fact, that was the intent of this essay – indicated by the title – but as I approach the first sentences which forms a timeline, so on instinct I’ve retreated.
There is one clear theme though: this is my last Third place. But maybe it’s more like 2.5 because we’re not hanging out and voice calls don’t count. It is the best substitute for a Third place, but a substitute nevertheless.
Sometimes I cut off a feeling halfway because it just feels self-indulgent and useless. Like there’s nothing really preventing a feeling of bliss in the current moment.
A consistent theme I find is trying to “dig” out answers or make a knot of emotion in anyway pithy only agitates and leads one astray.