To Talk

I have grown in a world mostly indifferent to my words. As many have, many do. Many of you reading.

But I think we all eventually work through that. There still are some moments where your opinion counts and then you reflect a little more and wonder whether you want it to count at all.

Maybe you start thinking about those Goldberg machines, or a domino mural where you’d ever so uncomfortably tiptoe over in a prayer you won’t set off a chain of events most unagreeable.

That your best bet, after all your languishing and chatter, would be a changed mind. But maybe, too, we’d both agree how rare that could be and, more importantly, the space between such a reward is deafening. You’re still the same, maybe with a half-recruit, but recruited toward little ends; at best swapping cards for the next magic the gathering tournament.

What use are these opinions without a cause? And so comfortably well one knows the drift in eyes, the lost in sights, or with an interrupt and you wonder whether to pick up where you left off. Silence after train tracks.

Why are you talking again? No one is listening. What are you hoping to accomplish? I’m not sure either.

With enough introspection one may inevitably conclude there is no point in any chatter. It’s background noise and you have to add to it because that’s how you make it comfortable. And while it’s hard to understand these random inclinations to speak beyond one’s duty so eventually, with enough training, one cleans up such inclinations too.

Drifting about in such a nullspace one may inevitably find no desires nor enlightenment neither. Limbo purely, for the surely paranoid and fear of being imposing, disturbing, more mouth movements and you think about how much faith everyone has in their tongue clicking between languages. How will I spend the rest of this life?

But in all this training and forgone conclusions one must notice. One must notice! Someone was always listening. Your own self.

And for that self so talking opens doorways or strange meetings, new beginnings. And everyone knows how pointless it is to loop in your inner voice silence. So one seeks ways to reflect and fuel for reflections more.

Here’s what I’m interested in. Here’s what I’m stuck on. By mere conversation one’ll find the next step forward if needed.

So let’s talk to discover what’s next. For both of us. That though the world may seem indifferent to your words and opinions, I think they’re moreso interested in what you’ll do with each conversation. Whether you’ll follow through.

Whether you’ll grow.