The worst thing you can do to someone is to say they’re okay. That they’re doing fine. And they’re great even, wonderful.
That’s the tragedy of existence, really, of any sort of love for others. Because if you zoom out the scope well enough, placating anyone means death. It means further tragedy and misery.
We can try to suffocate ourselves in good feelings and that we are “good enough” as is, but reality begs to differ. It either wants you to keep growing, or die.
Comforting other people, paradoxically, can sentence them further into despair. Why? Because they do not grow from being coddled. They do not learn from their actions. And they do not harden themselves for future endeavors.
I like living in a world that is cold and heartless. Why? Because the other world is a sham. You can be placated all you want, but one day it will hit you, and you will be beside yourself trying to understand where you “went wrong”.
Unfortunately, you veered off when you started to believe that you were okay, that things are fine, and that all is going well for you. Note: enjoying the day and understanding the projectory of your existence are mutually exclusive things.
So that’s the true test and challenge of any sort of love: compassion for people while understanding that, really, there is nothing you can do to nudge them toward a direction you’ve personally found helpful. Maybe you can lift their spirits for a minute, give them a smile if you try. But these things don’t solve the fundamental problems underneath.
You just have to watch them destroy themselves because that is the only way people learn from their mistakes: pain and suffering.
The only compassion left is an understanding of another’s situation in silence. Maybe a silent prayer.
That, unfortunately, any desire to “save” people from their destruction is fruitless when they’re too far gone.