After writing about how to lose weight and thinking about what lurks next, I think I gave up awhile ago.
You know the usual addict’s justifications. Frankly 99% of society is composed of addictions. It is what drives the economy after all. But it’s best not to think too much about it, right?
I think I gave up because the choices “to make one happy” are up to fate mostly. If you chase happiness, it will crush you.
Perhaps the success is found in what makes one unhappy.
The rest of this post will just be a reflection on what makes me unhappy. I’ll take topics I want to discuss – skip over the obvious ones – exhaust it. You can try to follow along in your own life if you want.
The first one I wonder about is music. Does music make one unhappy?
You can almost hear the knee-jerk reaction: it depends on what you listen to, no?
There are some tunes which really leave me refreshed and ready for another day, a cleanse of sorts.
Though I don’t think it’s all too good to listen to music while working. One may often spend more time choosing the next song instead of focusing on the task. Though perhaps you could find a good list of songs and get really immersed though. So it may be permissible.
Music can cloud one’s impetuous to move; though most of the things I write here are under such a daze. To this end, music can be quite the useful tool, and just furthers the thesis that thoughts are useless and everything written here comes from elsewhere, not thoughts.
Does making a neocity make one unhappy?
Thinking about “fate” again, or that it isn’t really up to you to decide anyway. But that’s part of the play, and maybe this Act so reveals its dissolution.
Moving the uncontrolled play along, intuitively I’d say neocities has more negatives than positives.
These negatives are found all over the web though. Like having a fractured existence for those secluded enough. To write so much here and perhaps you sprinkle it in conversation but this is an isolated terrain.
And if you are already a professional pixel-mover, or made many websites before, then that point is lost too. It’s a good point to start though. Though having a website invites more discord than anything else.
Choosing to create a website feels like a last-ditch effort, when nothing else works. But just because it’s the last choice doesn’t necessarily justify it as a solution.
The prime positive of neocities is to be the faucet, or the eventmaker. It shuffles the story along, wringing it out of you if you write and edit enough.
This has been my experience. When I didn’t have a website to fill with nonsense, the stagnation or dissatisfaction persisted anyway. Though one could argue, “You could spend all this time elsewhere” when I did go away to do just that, it all faltered and instead so I was in labyrinths of dark-patterns and newer addictions. It seems better to be addicted to writing nonsense, because like I said, it’s an eventmaker. You are the prompt and the reaction: why was this written? Eventually it feels like you are no longer writing. The website lives beyond you and talks to you as a separate thing. Or whatever is beyond you, inside you, made up in you – it speaks through your words.
Couple that with the futility of most “other” events – relationships, careers, travels – having a website is the choice for those who have no village.
As long as you understand you won’t make a village through virtual means: that requires a farm.