Waffling back and forth constantly. Staring at the open door.
For many years I’ve these stints of removing all the “extraneous” and the “dead ends” and make sure to tidy up for some semblance of a productive life.
For the most part, these were fruitful decisions. Fruitful in the sense of variety introduced. There are no regrets there.
Lately though, and along with those past attempts - lately it shows that even if one removes all “time-wasters” and…
The question is whether one could live without Chaos.
Or rather, to not at least define your own. An expansion is how I’ll crudely define it.
What are you expanding towards? Sometimes you have to contract all the directions (now labeled as distraction) you’re coming up with, and focus on what sincerely is top of the heart. But contract too much and you may sever the arteries that flow toward your supposed paradise, the few that expand in the correct ways.
It’s hard to put into words, but having this site open and visiting the meager places left are one of the few forms of chaos I’ve left to entertain.
Intuitively it feels there is always some sort of erosion within the play, and to stave it away only means unwelcomed erosion appears instead. I mean, at least until you have a grapple on the whole expansion and contraction dichotomy that I’ve building here (which I know is rather vague, but is fine for now).
In my current perceptions, maintaining these outlets are one of the best forms of interactive expansion - the only other would be imagination. Who know how long it lasts!
We’re all familiar with the ephemerality of existence. There’s no use running away from it (at least for now :-). Finally beginning to understand:
It is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.
Ordo ab chao.